Much Ado About Who
by Scarlet Phlame
Summary: Many newborn Whovians tend to get a little crazy. Well, I say a little... For example, staring at statues, fangirling when they see blue boxes, little things. Basically a rant in story form. Not a self-insert but definitely a Mary-Sue OC (purposely). (I own nothing.) Mainly OC's.


"And I really liked the Asylum of the Daleks," Who continued. "Oh, it was so good! The twist at the ending was a real shocker. Ooh, and also Clara's coming back! Isn't it exciting? A lot of people tend to not like Clara, but-"

"Who, I have no clue what you're saying, honestly," Vian said with a sigh.

"That's okay!" Who said. "Did you see Doomsday? Well, of course you didn't, you're only on episode three of season one. Or is it two? Episode four was good. Well, four and five. They were sort of connected. By the way, when I first watched it, I was like, Raxacoricofallapatorious? I bet only nerds remember that. But then, two weeks later, and I can spell it and say it correctly! Raxacoricofallapatorious! Raxacoricofallapat- OHMYGOD, IT'S A STATUE!"

"Yeah, it is," Vian said cautiously.

"Stare at it!" Who shrieked. "Just don't stop looking at it! Don't even blink! Blink and you're dead!"

Vian paused and blinked.

"I'm quite alive, now, let's go to Claire's. I wanted to-"

"NO! WE MUST STARE AT IT!" Who shrieked. "The angel will escape!"

"That's a statue of a dog," Vian said dryly.

"It's still an angel!" Who protested.

"Facepalm," Vian said. "I blinked and I was fine."

"But I was looking at it!" Who said.

"We're going to Claire's," Vian said, dragging her away. Who glared daggers at it.

"I'm watching you," she hissed.

* * *

"David Tennant is really cute," Who continued. "Ooh, I really like his hair. If I ever met him, do you think- oh, okay, need to stop thinking about Doctor Who for a while. Umm... bananas? Yellow? Red... blue... TARDIS... Okay, stopping right now. I will not think about Doctor Who for the rest of the day. Starting now."

Pause. Vian looked at some items on the shelf.

"Okay, maybe not," Who sighed. "I really can't get it out of my head."

"This is a boring self-insert fic," Vian said half-mindedly. "Any chance the Doctor's gonna waltz into the shop now?"

Who shrugged. "Dunno, but we'll find out. It's prewritten. Anyway, like I was saying..."

"Any chance you'll stop saying?" Vian asked, her back to Who as she looked at some necklaces. "Hey, this one is nice. Who, it's-" she turned and froze, Who was gone.

"What?" Vian finally asked.

"Get over here!" Who hissed, motioning for Vian to come.

"What is it?" Vian asked, annoyed.

"There's a blue box outside," Who said.

"That's a trash bin," was all Vian said.

"Oh," Who said. "Well, it could be the TARDIS in disguise," she tried.

"Sure," Vian said. "The day that happens, pigs will fly."

"Okay, if when pigs fly I'll meet the Doctor, then I'll do anything to get a pig on a plane," Who said sassily.

"You're insane," Vian said. "I'm going to go shopping."

"OMG!" Who suddenly screamed.

"What?" Vian asked.

"I just saw a dude in a brown trench coat!" Who shrieked.

"Okay," Vian said.

"Don't you get it, it's summer! Nobody wears suits when it's hot, except for the Doctor!" Who shrieked.

"Listen, Who, it's probably just a dude in a coat. Maybe even a cosplayer."

"No, it's him. Are you coming or not?!" Who shrieked.

"Fine," Vian said. "But I'm telling you-"

Who ran straight out the doors, never even glancing behind.

"Wait for me! I'm wearing heels!" Vian yelled.

* * *

"What if it is the Doctor? What if I meet him, what if I get to be his companion?! Oh my god! I wish I brought a camera! I wanna take a picture with the Doctor!" Who shrieked.

"Don't... see... how... you can... run... so fast... and... talk... at the same... time..." Vian panted.

"Doesn't matter," Who said, turning a corner to see none other than the TARDIS sitting quite simply on the sidewalk.

"Oh my god," Vian said.

"Let me in!" Who shrieked, banging on the doors. "Doctooooooor!"

"Doctoooor!" Vian screamed.

"Who?" a nearby owl cooed.

"Shut up!" Vian yelled, "Doctor! OPEN THE DOOR!"

"Blimey!" Donna said, poking her head out of the door. "Doctor, I think they want you."

"Oh, hello there," the Doctor said, peeking out. "Might I ask, what are you doing outside my... box?"

"That's TARDIS," Who corrected. "Time And Relative Dimension In Space."

"What-" the Doctor started.

"Spoilers!" Who chortled. "Lemme in the TARDIS!" she pushed past the two and shoved Vian in, who blinked.

"It's... bigger on the inside," Who said in awe.

"That could be an innuendo," Vian said.

"Wow," Who said, before falling over in a faint. Vian followed suit.

"Who are they?" Donna asked. Who jumped up.

"How did you know?!"


End file.
